Freethink Friday: Edition 2 | Do you miss your lost socks?

What's Freethink Friday, you ask?

Every Friday I'll ask you to weigh in on a question buzzing in my head – ranging from peskily existential to comfortingly fun. Sanity's readers are the most thoughtful I've known in my 19-year-career. You've been asking me to create more space for the community. This is one move in that direction.

Abha Thapliyal

"I work as a Diversity, Equity and Inclusion expert in business development for client companies. Interestingly, that requires a lot of counselling on the job. I’m usually dealing with people from different walks of life: different nationalities, races, ethnicities, social classes, religions, marital statuses, levels of ability, genders and sexual orientations – and I usually have to find a way to get them get along and work together efficiently.

The idea is to create equity – except that equity seems like a unicorn to me, so I try to get as close to it as possible. It can feel a lot like hitting your head against the wall with a resounding thwack and persevering nonetheless. The concussions, I tell you. 

The most therapeutic part of my job is grievance redressal and mediation; learning to listen to different parties in a dispute and help them engage in meaningful dialogue and finding ways to create empathy where there is usually none. It’s quite challenging but very much worth it. 

I hope you liked listening to what I do for a living because when I try to explain it to my family, they usually fall asleep. Thank you for your remarkable insight and infinite wisdom in the field of mental health journalism. Your work has helped me be honest about my mental health, stay in touch with my feelings and even reach out to a professional and start therapy."

Marjolein Boon-Bol

"I work in a public library, and me and my colleagues have had multiple people (mostly regular visitors) come to us and unburdening themselves by talking to a 'familiar stranger' – like the woman who had just been to the hospital without her husband and was diagnosed with cancer – she 'needed to tell someone, and her husband was away at work'.

Like the mother telling me how she sometimes worries about her daughter who is 'different'. Or the older gentleman telling me how he's lonely, can hardly see anything anymore, and he doesn't want to be a burden to his two sons who live further away. The young man who exploded into violence (and was escorted outside by another customer who knew how to immobilize him safely), giving him some tissues and listening to his story.

Sometimes there is nothing more we can do than to lend a listening ear, be a fellow human in life's storms. I can't solve your problems for you, but I can listen without judging, and then at least you will not be struggling with your load alone. This is something which i maybe have in common with a therapist.

Just knowing that I am not alone, not the only one struggling, not truly all that 'different' from all these others, and seeing how these other people are normal, even wonderful people (and not "scary-crazy" at all) has been an immense help for me. Thanks again for your wonderful work with your newsletter, and I love this idea for more input from your community, your 'tribe'."